Write a letter to yourself and open it in 10 years.

January 16th 2011. We got school off today because of Martin Luther King Day.
 Who doesn't know that he was a leader in the African-American Civil Rights Movement should better check out his wikipage.

Isn't it paradox that the 'I have a dream'-Day is exactly to the day halftime?
Right now I'm just sitting here..stunned,confused,proud,angry,curious,happy..emotional chaos.
I have this picture in my head standing above the line with one foot stuck on one side,trying to hold on to the past and try to remember everything and the other foot trying to create the future and can't wait for what's coming next. I mean look though my Blog what has happen the last months,I had to learn new rules, a new lifestyle, a foreign language. I have met people that inspired me and people that showed me how important it is to stay in school and educate myself with every opportunity. I have punished myself for taking things for granted and I had to force myself to overcome the fear of dealing with uncertainty. Getting lost is just another term for finding yourself,so whats wrong about it? I laughed a lot the last months and I cried a few times, I lost and I won. Life is so different when you know you are on your own and absoluely nothing can change this 'cause your parents live a couple of thousand miles away. The first weeks no one got my back and now I can say with a truly smile on my face that has changed! I found new friends and actually can talk to them without having much problems. I'm still so excited when we do typical american things even when its just eating hamburgers 'cause everyone is too lazy to cook. I also learned to take chances. There is no 'Oh maybe next time.' - when its time for an adventure than goooo! I have to admit that things keep me busy and I know this is not an excuse for not answering messages in time. But particularly in the last month.. how do you write in german when you start to dislike this language really bad? I still have to improve a lot and its not gonna be easy but I'm looking forward to it 'cause I deeply love english. And to be honest with you..it's the best feeling in the entired world to understand lyrics when you listen to songs only once,understand acters in their native language, start to like the british accent too,read a book and truly get the context. One of my jobs which I really love is to eliminate prejudices. Germans that talk bad about America without having a single clue whats really going on and Americans that think our rolemodel is still Hitler. Americans are not stupid and Germans are not races. Hitler jokes and calling each other Nazis is like an ordinary thing among teenagers here. They learned that we dont think its funny and it equals if we would make jokes about slavery. I dont know if  I changed yet but I'm pretty sure that I'm more grown-up and this fact kind of scares me. What if I come back and people went a completly different direction from what I expected? Sometimes when I skype with my family and friends and they tell me what recently happened, all I can do is just listen 'cause I'm too surprised  to say something. Sometimes it feels like another life is going on over there and all you want to do is to stop and affect it with positive things but you can't. You can be at two places at one time but you can't control them both. Another big deal are people. Since I left I can tell myself who are true friends and who are people I can have faith in. Sentences like ' I'll write you everything and as much as I can' or ' I'll come visit you' became so meaningless 'cause I knew from the very beginning they are not true and obviously I was right. I want to say Thank you to those who are patient and  uncomplaining with me,to those who send me letters and mails,to those who maybe think about me sometimes. I'm thankful for this opportunity that was given to me and I enjoy almost every single second.
Uncertainty. I'm scared of the future.Yes,I really am. But did I know what to expect when I entered the plane!?
No. - I had a dream and look where →I← got myself.(: